I was so caught up in love…

Not for a second did I think I was being manipulated

The little things I did with pleasure seemed numb to me in recent times…

“I can’t breathe without you”, “I can hardly sleep without you by my side”

All those were lines he rehearsed to make me feel special

Yet I never even felt his presence by my side…

It was me making sacrifices and turning down offers just to please him

The usual cravings of a lady from her man was something I could not even dream of…

Romantic night outs are like taboos, I never get a “yes” to them

“I’m busy, the schedule is tight” is all I hear on a daily basis

Whenever I fix a date, it was still me I would find at the table three hours later…

Make him fix one and you don’t show up, it’s like you broke one of the ten commandments

I’m tired, I need a break

But I feel so entangled now that I don’t even know which way shows the exit…

Nothing has ever been fun and pretending to wear a smile is all I have ever done

I admit I leaped too fast

But don’t blame a lady who needed care

And found love at first sight…

My once cherished dream has become a reality so far from me

And it’s so hard to believe

I really need the exit

Because it’s no longer a blurring sight…

There’s just one thing I want him to know, that I loved him in a way no one else would

I made it look perfect, though inside of me was messy

I’ve lived, loved and learned and I wish he does the same…

I would forever hold a bigger portion of my heart for you

Because I bear no hatred against you, but I pray you learn so fast to appreciate things the way they are…

I love you and would always do, no matter what.




I hold grudges with my heart

I am angry with my mind

I made a hasty decision

And now I’m paying the price

He has never been “the man”

Because he never owned up to responsibilities

He asked for favors with force

And always wanted things done at his beck and call

I’m like a fly in the home

Sometimes going unnoticed for months

I dread sleeping at night

Because it’s where the whole “uhms” n “ahs” are made with me tied to the bed

I never had a break from his manly stature

And each time he called from the bedroom, tears begin to roll down my cheeks

I have lived in constant fear of speaking up

Because wen I do, I’d either see a hand come my way

Or boots greeting me on the floor

I’m treated like a nobody

But to the outside world, I had it all

He saw nothing wrong with the whole thing

And actually thought there was more I could do to please him

I want it to come to an end

But letting go is not an option

Because, even through the pains

I’ve still come to realize that there’s nothing as a perfect man…anywhere. Continue reading