COUNTING STARS…CHASING RAINBOWS

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A few years back when we met
I was the happiest lady to have ever lived
You were the perfect gentleman in my books
I got so enchanted by your looks
And then I said to myself “I’m never looking back”

Along the line, I shut my eyes
To every other thing in the world
You became the only person I chose to see
And your sweet baritone voice was the only lovely sound I heard
I could deny all truths
Just to listen to your lies
That was because you were the only one I chose to believe
I don’t know who or what changed
And I can’t believe time acted so fast
But I’ve come to realize how deceptive beauty can be
I can’t imagine I’m at the loosing ends again
I thought your words were assuring enough
And your love was never going to fade
Now, I realize I was only counting stars and chasing rainbows.

FIGHTING TEMPTATIONS

WHAT HAPPENED TO LOVE

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Let’s not do it this way
We’ve come a long way to make it so obvious
The date nights
Teasing each other
All-through the night phone calls
The break-up to make-up times
What happened to all of that?
Are we just going to throw them all to the wind and pretend they never happened?
I’ve always had a “man” in you
And I just can’t sit back and watch you disappear without a trace
We were happy together…
…or so I thought
Not until you started acting funny
And getting angry at every little thing I did or said
I felt so comfortable in your arms
And felt safe telling you all my secrets
But you’ve become a stranger in just a twinkle of an eye
And I no longer trust that my heart is safe with you
I thought our love could stand the test of time
And prove to the world what it really means to be loved
But you took me to the peak
Made me feel so wanted
And left my heart crushing down like it didn’t matter at all
I really wish we could give it one more try
Because I just can’t go on with a broken heart
No, let’s get back together and make this work
One more try is all I’m asking for
Cause all I ever wanted was YOU.

 

PAIN THROUGH TIME

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I lost it all…
I can’t count how many obstacles I’ve crossed
One, Two, Three
Or maybe a thousand
I just can’t imagine me at the centre of the game
Playing the cheerleader
And hanging on even when I was the loser
It hadn’t even started before I saw it ending
Everything coming down to a score of zero
I tried to fix things…
A little patch here
And a little stitch there
But I was the one bleeding
I was the one being pierced so hard in the chest
I felt blood gushing out of my throat
Maybe it’s time to walk away…
It’s time I took that walk I should have taken a long time ago
I’m sure it’ll help ease my pain
And nurture my bleeding heart
I don’t know where I’m going from here…
Because his heart was the only place I could call home
And now that it seems I’ve lost it, it’s time I lived in solitude
I may just have to wander…
Keep tossing coins
And making wishes
Till I find another place where my heart could live
And breathe beautifully without bruises
And if I finally have to take a walk through that door
I wish he would realise how much I’ve felt the piercings
How long I’ve endured the pains
And how many scars I’m walking away with.

A NOTE FROM THE EAST

Red Rose

I received a note…
I don’t know whom it came from
All that was written on it read “From the east side of town”
Cupid hasn’t shot anyone for me there

…Or maybe I’m not aware of that yet
I opened it with glee
And found a rose seed
There was nothing more I could do
Nothing else to trace the recipient with

…So I made a decision
And put the seed in the ground
It started pushing through the soil beautifully
But I still didn’t know whom it had come from
Maybe love found a new way to come say “hi”
And with the rose, make me smile

…Every now and then, I hope for the one who sent me a rose flower in  this form to show his face
But each day passes by and all I see is a growing red rose which came from the East side of town.

WRITINGS ON THE WALL

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I was so caught up in love…

Not for a second did I think I was being manipulated

The little things I did with pleasure seemed numb to me in recent times…

“I can’t breathe without you”, “I can hardly sleep without you by my side”

All those were lines he rehearsed to make me feel special

Yet I never even felt his presence by my side…

It was me making sacrifices and turning down offers just to please him

The usual cravings of a lady from her man was something I could not even dream of…

Romantic night outs are like taboos, I never get a “yes” to them

“I’m busy, the schedule is tight” is all I hear on a daily basis

Whenever I fix a date, it was still me I would find at the table three hours later…

Make him fix one and you don’t show up, it’s like you broke one of the ten commandments

I’m tired, I need a break

But I feel so entangled now that I don’t even know which way shows the exit…

Nothing has ever been fun and pretending to wear a smile is all I have ever done

I admit I leaped too fast

But don’t blame a lady who needed care

And found love at first sight…

My once cherished dream has become a reality so far from me

And it’s so hard to believe

I really need the exit

Because it’s no longer a blurring sight…

There’s just one thing I want him to know, that I loved him in a way no one else would

I made it look perfect, though inside of me was messy

I’ve lived, loved and learned and I wish he does the same…

I would forever hold a bigger portion of my heart for you

Because I bear no hatred against you, but I pray you learn so fast to appreciate things the way they are…

I love you and would always do, no matter what.

TORTURE

Torture

I hold grudges with my heart

I am angry with my mind

I made a hasty decision

And now I’m paying the price

He has never been “the man”

Because he never owned up to responsibilities

He asked for favors with force

And always wanted things done at his beck and call

I’m like a fly in the home

Sometimes going unnoticed for months

I dread sleeping at night

Because it’s where the whole “uhms” n “ahs” are made with me tied to the bed

I never had a break from his manly stature

And each time he called from the bedroom, tears begin to roll down my cheeks

I have lived in constant fear of speaking up

Because wen I do, I’d either see a hand come my way

Or boots greeting me on the floor

I’m treated like a nobody

But to the outside world, I had it all

He saw nothing wrong with the whole thing

And actually thought there was more I could do to please him

I want it to come to an end

But letting go is not an option

Because, even through the pains

I’ve still come to realize that there’s nothing as a perfect man…anywhere. Continue reading

BURNING SILENCE

Burning Silence

It feels like an empty room

Ssshhhhh!

Whatever you say would just echo back to you

Why are we even stuck here without a word

Or is this how you want us to be from now on?

This is just torture

I can’t feel the honey/darling thing anymore

I feel like I’m lonely in this place

Why the silence anyway!

What is it that can’t be shared anymore?

We could make it work

And take a walk out of this trouble

This silence feels so louder than noise

And it keeps burning faster than rage

Maybe I’m not the problem

But your silence towards me feels so unusual

And I never wished we got here at all

If only I knew what this was all about

I would have turned the clock to where it all started

And pause it before we got here

I’m dying with pain inside

I no longer have those cuddles when I sleep

And never get the wake-up smiles anymore

I can neither say a “Hi” nor get one back

And the pet names I always looked forward to are like a mirage these days

If it’s not about me, then why this “speech boycott”

There are more questions than answers

But I really want this “slow poison” to end

Because it’s burning faster than I ever thought it would.

A GIFT OF LOVE

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Dearest,
I hardly write pieces like this…
I’m not used to putting pen on a sheet just to scribble words as sweet as this
Matters of the heart is something I don’t enjoy playing with…
…But I’m really determined to drive my message straight to your heart this time around
Just like an archer would aim at his target and shoot without missing it
I’ve developed some liking for you
Which is rare…So rare
I don’t usually feel this way towards “first-sight” people
What’s happening to me?!
I’m beginning to feel my heart beat faster at the mention of your name
And my face turning bright red at the sight of you…
Could it be that thing called love
Or probably one of those infatuations
Whatever this feeling might be
All I’m asking of you is to give me a chance to share it with you…
…We might probably have a happy ending like those we’ve heard of in fairy tales
My heart is beating as the clock keeps ticking
I’m waiting till you say “yes”
Or I’ll never stop bleeding
And so before I drop my pen, I’d like to make a wish…
…From my heart, where all these words flow
I hope you send a bird with your message to me…Pretty soon.
Regards,
Bleeding heart.
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MARRY ME

imageme
Let’s break the rules
Mum and dad aren’t needed
With just you, it’s family
Take me across the river
Where no one will notice
Let’s secretly say our vows
“I do” “I do”
That’s all I want to hear
And it’s enough to make us a couple
Let’s get married
Ignore the guys at the bar on Saturday
I’m turning down the shopping offer with the girls too
I’m eager to have you as my man
Beside me forever
And it’s going to happen no matter what
Forget about the cake
Or the champagne poppers
I’m not even bothered about having my first dance
All I want to see is you by my side, forever!
Turn the clock to six, I’ll meet you at seven
The birds will be ready to sing natures loveliest of tunes
And the sky above with open arms to bless it
Let’s use what nature has to offer us
And make our vows the best thing ever
Get married to me
And I’ll be the happiest woman ever to survive.
Marry me…will you?!